This is what would happen if Link, the one-man army of Hyrule fought a new breed of monster called the lotie. I made them up! Everything else I don't own! You can't sue me! Ha!
 
Chapter 1
 
(Link was in the woods, looking for tonight's dinner. He was looking for dinner, but so was a beast that is unfamiliar to Hyrule…)
 
Link: I fell as though I'm being watched…
 
(Just then a creature with a large head, one scythe like arm, and two tails, that looked remarkably like an insect jumped out at him.)
 
Link: What the crap?!
 
(The creature is countered by link's sword, but yet he kept moving.)
 
Link: This will make a hearty meal, I'm sure…
 
(The creature keeps trying to slash at Link's face, and seemingly it won't give up. Link throws a bomb at it, and the monster is destroyed.)
 
Link: Whoa, that thing is bigger then I thought! I really should invite Zelda to dinner.
 
(Link goes back home with the grilled bug-like thing. When he gets home to the treehouse in the forest. He sees another thing on at his doorstep. It seems dead, and it has a note by it.)
 
Link: (reading the note) we are the Lotie. We have your princess. Come to The sacred forest to get her back.
 
(Link thinks he should show the ransom note to the King of Hyrule, so walks away, but the dormant lotie wakes up…)
 
Sleeper Lotie: Hiss!
 
Link: What?
 
(The sleeper Lotie gets on Link's back and tries to apparently shove it's head up his butt, but is very unsuccessful due to a little thing called pants.)
 
 Link: Why does it want to shove it's head up my butt?
 
(The Lotie stops and lies down. It looks dead.)
 
Link: You're not pulling THAT trick on me again!
 
(Link steps on the sleeper Lotie, until it gets up, and is a mess, staggers, and dies.)
 
Link: Still playing possum? I see…
 
(Link keeps stepping on it. Impa interrupts him.)
 
 Impa: Link, it's dead.
 
Link: What brings you here?
 
Impa: I have to find Zelda. Ever since I got that note, I've been looking around here.
 
Link: I got the same note!
 
Impa: Can you help me?
 
Link: Sure.
 
(They go into the sacred forest by the forest temple)