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dear Zelda

I just love this picture don't you?

B-E-A-utiful

isn't it amazing what some people can do. my drawings suck you shouldn't see them T_T No ones better than you Sarah. cya

LOVE Gameboy

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Dear Gameboy,

It's amazing what an artist can come up with, really. I remember posing for both of these images. I was rather impressed with what they could do. I love the color used in them too. Gorgeous!

Zelda


Dear You people!

Hi!!!!!!!! I Just Got Soul Calibur 2!!!!!! Now I Laugh at Zelda Because I found more Zelda haters!!!! MUHAhaHA!!!!! *Summons Army including Arasoth, Beserker, Spawn, Nightmare, Lizardman, Talim, (Yay! Talim rocks!) Link, Ivy, Inferno, and A Grunt from Halo,* ATTACK!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! *Everyone attacks Zelda*

And now for talking to everyone else!

Roy: You Rock!!!!!!!! You should team up with my army and attack Zelda!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!

Marth: Your evil, EVIL I SAY!!! KIA!!!!!!

Malon: YOU ROCK!!!!!

Link: How come you always help Zelda? Let me show you something, Y. Link talks to Zelda, Zelda sends Y Link on quest, Y. Link goes to Temple o Time for 7 year nap, Link defeats Ganon and gets sent back in time, And It starts over!!! Have you noticed that??

Zeldas Corpse: You should get Talim from Soul Cailibur II Here! You really should!!

Sincerly,
Italia

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Dear Italia,

Listen here, grease monkey. If you got problems with me, why are you writing to me? I mean that makes no sense whatsoever. And the fact that these other individuals are on the site as well...they obviously have no problems with me. I notice the ONLY person that would have had problems, you neglect. I mean there's Ganondorf standing right there. The guy hasn't had an email in ages it seems. He's the ONLY one here who would hate me. And I doubt he even hates me. It's just his job being a bad guy. Yet you neglect him. You're obviously lost as to where you are and what you're doing here.

Yeah, that was pretty weird for someone to diss you on your own site. As if you're going to run away crying or something. Or worse; all of us could abandon you.

How can I like anyone who's mean to people? That's sorta rude. T_T

YEAH! ITALIA YOU RULE! YEAH! DOWN WITH ZELDA! DOWN WITH MARTH!!! W0000!!!

[Webmistress note: Roy has been suspended from answering letters for the next six years.]

Man...six years? Sarah's buckling down, yo. And I agree with everyone else. How can I hate Zelda? Let alone, how can I attack her? Granted we fight on stage all the time. But that's because we're sparring. We're not battling with hatred. It doesn't happen. I bet 10 bucks that this army you've come up with doesn't agree with you either, Italia. I'd give it up now while you're ahead.

You guys are so sweet. Thank you so much!

So...does that mean I can get a date???

...

I suppose you can, then. Tomorrow sound great? At eight?

...

REALLY????? Omg. I don't know..how..to..react to this! I mean..OMG!!!! *hyperventilates*

Zelda
Marth
Malon
Link
and Roy


Dear Zelda and co,

Marth:...ROY!!! HELP ME!! PROTECT ME!!! MARTHS TRYING TO HURT ME!!! AAAHH!!!

Malonaria:*GASP* MY GOD!!! You poor, poor child! You..You have NO idea who Kenshin is, do you? OH my god. I will tell you about Kenshin later. I just need to clam down. Zelda, can I have a bit of rum? *Mumbles to herself* She doesn't know who Kenshin or Kaoru or anyone is! My god! Were to begin? I need to see Kenshin right away...

Link: You never learn, do you? I though that last beating would have taught you. *Pulls out her sword* Even though hes trying to kill me, Leave. Marth. The. Fuck. Alone. You've ruined Marth's chances with Zelda(You will pay for that), and now your going to beat him up because of my crappy little MarthXZelda fic that Zelda though was cute? I don't think so.

Now, we fight.

Love,(Not to Link)
Acco(The Kenshin obsessed girl)

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Dear Acco,

I had a chance to look over the "Oekaki board" the other day and noticed the hostility that everyone has against Link and his obsession with...me. Yes, I know he's obsessed. The difference in this is...I've known this for years. If anything I've developed an immunity to it. I don't get bothered by it so easily anymore. Sure his level of desperation has gotten a bit more...desperate over time, but that I can also handle. Yes you may have some Rum, dear. Just visit the castle sometime and I'll be more than happy to help you to some. We need to have a girls night...in anyway.

You're right, Zelda. It's been NUTS on that forum. Everyone has turned against me! Like they're all against me being with you or something...It's saddening.

....I'm trying to kill you?

Zelda
Marth
and Link


Dear Zelda,

Link's pictures aren't sucky! And come to think of it, SSBM is the only game were we can actually play you.

Link: I can't help it, I'm a perfectionist, and there's nothing I can do to change that. I mean, how can you be proud of something you put no effort in? And now to totally change subjects, when did you realize Samus is basically a futuristic version of yourself?

Marth: Have you met your wanna-be from Baten Kaitos?

Brenda

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Dear Brenda,

Link's pictures have never been sucky. I mean c'mon now...he's completely photogenic. The guy makes me jealous as heck with his pictures. I wish I was more or less like that. I've come up with some bad images. Like me with food hanging out of my mouth and such. So I'm proud of Link's ability to take a picture.

Samus is SO not my look for the future. I mean she's a girl for one. Wait...ARE YOU SAYING I'M A GIRL???? Le sigh. You people don't STOP do you???

...who?

Zelda
Marth
and Link


Dear Zelda,

I've got Anchorman on DVD! It's funny as hell! Have you seen it yet?

Tiamat, Lord of the wastes, King of darkness, Master of evil, Hound of the Resurrection, Slayer of the innocent, Devourer of Souls, Overlord of the Undead, Destroyer of Empires, Nightmare to all, Demon of Chaos, Supreme Rock Master, Bringer of Misery, Plague of Fear, Butcher of Hylians, Murderer of Hippies, Avatar of Fury, Walking Desecration, Embodiment of Desolation, Impaler of Peasants, Drinker of Innocent Blood, Pandora's Box, Pirate of Perversity, President of Inequity, Vicious Dog of Doom, Prince of Despair, The Malicious Murderer, Archduke of Disaster, Creator of Malevolence, Phantom of Debauchery, Tyrant of Depravity, Ghoul of Horror, Fiend of Dread, Bane of the Living, Executor of The Angelic, Defacer of The Saintly, Chief of Obscenity, Director of Contamination, Terror of The Night, Amplifier of Catastrophe, Kaiser of Calamity, Assassinator of The Pure, Emperor of Hatred, Conveyor of Indecency, Beast of Annihilation, Ripper of Ruin, Gold Card Member of The Meter Room, Awakener of Wickedness, Hellspawn of Hades, Committer of Crime, Twister of many Skulls, Dictator of Death, Chairman of Notoriousity, Locust of Famine, Mantis of the Apocalypse, Fang of the Poison Tooth, The Forever Decapitator, Master of the Disembowelment Arts, Pyromaniac of Persecution, Headmaster of Oppression, Deceptor of Dawn, Necromancer of the Putrid, Ultimus of The Graveborn, Eater of the dead, Scion of Pestilence, Wraith of Havoc, Evil Eye of Agony, Praetor of The Pit, The Shrieking Shriveler, Archon of Agony, Evincar of Foulness, Lich of Mutilation, Crusader of Treachery, Apparition of Injustice, Painbringer of Purgery, Keeper of The Void, Sadist of Lobotomy, Ranger of Misfortune, Overseer of The Tainted, Titan of Extinction, Beacon of Incineration, Firebeast of the Inferno, Muse of the Wicked, Penumbra of Betrayal, Juggernaut of Pain, Hydra of Dominance, Force of Indulgence, Stronghold of the Relentless, Legacy of Pandemonium, Shaver of Yaks, Vandalizing Drone, Lost but Seeking, Crusader for Injustice, Despiser of Law, Renewer of Abhorrence, Exploiter of Exploitation, Negator of Faith, Shaman of Ill-will, Fist of Destitution, Harasser of all he Surveys, Poker of Bunnies, Defiler of Flowerbeds, Defecator into Mailboxes, Urinator into Lemonade, Tipper of Cows, Mass suicide Leader of Lemmings, Stabber of Hearts, Gift giver of Trix to the Trix Bunny, Thief of Tiger stripes (Mainly Tony's), Biper of Human Intestine, Breathstealer of Embezzlement, Sultan of Serpents, Baron of Befoulment, Monarch of Gloom, Slicer into stomachs, Commander of Sloth, Wind Beast of Uncouthness, Chimera of Avarice, Demonic Dragon of Melodrama, Father of Despisement, Minister of Vice, Rector of the Unsrupolous, Prowler of Vileness, Scotchmaster of Scotch, Blade lord of Black matter, Emblem of uncivilization, Orderly of Disorder, Paradox of Infinity, Behemoth of Long Titles.

PS If I run out of titles, because I've done everything I can to be evil, it means I could be dead.

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Dear Tiamat,

I can't say that I've seen that DVD...if I've seen a DVD. You die? Never. I doubt that would ever happen.

Zelda


Dear Zelda,

Me am playing Metroid Prime 2 (The that am having echoes), when me am fall into hole. Me am not wanting to turn game off because me am just got space jump, but can't am jump out into free wonderful land of not hole. Please help.

Mao Tse-tung

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Dear Mao,

I guess I'll get Lunk I mean Link to come and help you and such. He's GREAT at such situations!

WHOOO! HOLE JUMPIN'!!!!

Zelda
and Link


Dear Zelda,

Doesn't your land have a parliament? In REAL monarchies princes and princesses have no power, because parliament has to agree with them. Royalty is just a sign of the country's charisma, which you hardly live up to. Better put on some extra make-up, wrinkly! You're nothing more than a Hylian Madonna!

Sicko Sammy

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Dear Sicko Sammy,

I never said I had real power. I'm more or less a queen in training. I can still make some decisions that are overlooked by my father. That's basically all I do. If you look at the books, Hylia isn't exactly on EARTH either. So monarchies of a different world and dimension...aren't exactly the same as on Earth. WRINKLY?? I'm not WRINKLY!!

Zelda


Dear Zelda,

De donde al bano?

F.E.S. (Foreign Exchange Student)

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Dear F.E.S.,

No se. Necessitas estar el bano? Que asco.

Zelda


Dear Link,

What kind of asperin do you use to ease the pain of getting hit on the noggin all those times?

Prince

----------

Dear Prince,

Are you THE Prince? Man! I'm HONORED. I love your song "Raspberry Berret" I mean the music is FABULOUS. *coughs* Anyway...for MY headaches of a Hero level...I use extra strength headache-be-gone HERO strength. It's got the stuff it takes to keep me from an aching migrain almost every moment of my non-sleeping life!

Link


Dear Dirtbag (Roy),

You suck, you buttweasel! You are a suckmaster to end all suckmasters! You know why? Because you lie about things you shouldn't! Like that time you said Ooboo was a tortoise at the pet store. I found out he was a dog, and my landlord won't let me have a dog! Why don't you lick your own ass because it must taste better than the ones you kissed to become a half assed general. Yeah! I'm going postal on your sorry ass, Roy!

Mark the Disgruntled Editor

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Dear Mark,

I'm sorry but he's not able to answer for the next six years.

Man...that's gotta suck. Can't even stand up for himself. That is hilarious.

Zelda
and Marth


Dear Princess Zelda,

Besides any Hylians, is there any type of person that is obsessed and in love with you? ...Like I am... ...eheheh...Just a simple evil-chasing Sheikah bounty hunter, tis all... *Heavilly blushing*

"If you don't know me, why judge me?! That is the path of the idiot."

Adrian Strowder

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Dear Adrian,

I've had my share of crushes, trust me. I've seen Gorons love me. I've seen Zoras kiss the ground I walk on. Sadly...I've even seen Gerudos sit outside of my windows at night. But yeah, to answer your question...yes. And uh...*blushes* Thank you?

Zelda


Dear Zelda,

Look! You have to eat it! The only way to kill it is to eat it! It has to be eaten be a princess too, and your the only princes here! It got Link and Roy ready! PLEASE! JUST EAT THE FREAKING THING!!! Happy New Year.

Love,
Acco(The Kenshin obsessed girl)

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Dear Acco,

Eat....what..?

Zelda


Dear Zelda and Marth,

*Is all flowery* Oh you guys! I'm so happy for you! *Giggle* Just come out of the closet! You to are crazy about one another! I mean look at the pic! *Giggle* So beautiful! I could kiss the person who took it! Hehe! ^_^ Now, me and Kaoru have been talking, and.... We've decided that can get blue and pink and gold in the whole wedding scheme. See, the flowers will be pink, the carpet that goes down the middle of the aisle will be blue, as will the ribbons\bows, and it will all be trimmed with gold. Now, for the clothes, I though we'd go with a very light, almost white, power pink wedding dress for you, Zelda, and you, Marth, will have a navy blue suit. But, we need to decide where you want to have it. Outside, or inside? The lake? Or somewhere in the dinning hall? And the guests! I need a list of everyone you know. *Happy sigh* Oh, so much to do! Well, I must be going, but I'll be back soon! *Skips away* La La La!

Love,
Acco(The very happy Kenshin obsessed girl)

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Dear Acco,

Oh dear. That picture has finally come back to haunt me. I was sick that weekend, you see. I wasn't really doing much...then there was a ring at my door. And well..I went to answer it and it was Marth. He had a bouquet of roses and such...and gave them to me. Whispered to "get well soon" and such...then he gave me a kiss on the cheek. Nothing huge...but yes, nothing small either. I wasn't aware of a wedding though. *blushes giggling* I don't even know what to think. Wait...did Marth ask me to marry him or something? DID I SAY YES?? Oh dear dear....I was so sick..I don't remember anything...

Zelda


Dear Zelda,

I've been busy for a while so I couldn't talk to you guys. I do not have a crush on Kagome.

How could you say no to a pretty girl like that? Link, Marth, and Roy have to agree with me on that. Right guys?

Tyler the Demon Slayer

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Dear Tyler,

Well I'm glad to see that you're back and such. You so DO have a crush on her. ADMIT IT!

Zelda


Dear Zelda

Marth I am so not a guy! EEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *runs away screaming* I am a girl who is 12 yeash! Ruto u r ok. Someone actually blackmailed me to say those bad things about u guys! Malon u r ok 2! I like all u guys but um the list about my fave zelda girls is real but i didn't want to badmouth ruto, malon or anyone else i badmouthed. Look, Link Legolas was created before u JRR Tolkien is 112! U link were made in like 1980 something he is ssoooo hot! Well u r 2 link. Anyway, I gotta go bye!

P.S.: I am going to give some fan art soon!! Not only that but i say in the future Link and Zelda will be married! Dun da da nuh!!!!! bye u will get more mail from me ta ta!

Angelzelda aka Zelda fan00001, Ruto fan0001, Malon fan00001, Marin fan0001, Link fan00001, and Saria fan0001

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Dear multiple fans00001,

I'm looking forward to that fanart. Wow, you're 12? I guess I appeal to all ages or something. I'll be looking forward to many more letters. And me and Link getting married? Hahahaha...I so don't even know if I am engaged judging from Acco's flowery...nature. But yeah..talk to you soon!

Zelda


Dear Zelda,

Hi! ^_^ How are you? Have you seen those pictures that Link posted of you...and Marth?!

Anyway, I'm really bored. Look at this picture of Hermione punching Malfoy... over and over and over *goes on forever*

Love Malonaria.

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Dear Malonaria,

Yes I've seen the pictures. Not only that but I EXPERIENCED them. I've been getting a lot of mail from people telling me to check out the forums. So I have..and yes, none of these things are a surprise to me at all.

Zelda


Dear Zelda and Link

Hey lovers how ha doing just wanted to know how the dating things going. Get any sex in just a big smooch or a stupid kiss on the cheek. I wish you guys could get together I mean all of you guys should make like an instant messenger chat room and tell the times you’ll be there it would be awesome of course after school though. Its a lot easier instead of taking most of the time answering the e-mails or at least im on your free time. Think about it and everyone e-mailing Zelda suggest this too.

Love Gameboy

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Dear Gameboy,

A chatroom eh? That seems like a good idea, actually. I'll get Sarah right on it!

Zelda


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