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Dear Zelda,
I saw you and Link down by Lake Hylia last night. Looks like your relationship is really heating up!
From, Alissa
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Dear Alissa,
Yeah I'd say we are! I mean c'mon now we are the hottest couple known to game history.
Yeah, maybe if it's in the world of incest.
*spits out his coffee*
WHAT?! What are you talking about "incest"?!
Don't act surprised, fairy boy. Don't you see the latest polls? People are saying you guys are brother and sister! YOU'RE TOTALLY WANTING TO DO YOUR SIIIISTERRRR!
Why I outta...*rolls up sleeves*
...do your sister? Hahahahahaha! *flees*
I'm...so not touching this one.
A stunned Zelda Link Roy Marth
Dear ZELDAAAAAAAAA (And I suppose Old Me, Roy, Marth, Saria, Ganon, and DL.)
Hey guys! What's up!? it's been forevver since I talked to you folks.
But anyway, I've got some problems.
THIS IS A QUESTION FOR ZELDA (AND SARIA,) FOR SOME ADVICE.
Aiight, so theres this chick in the forest, right? Walks around and stuff, I've seen her, and you know about that big 'ol Bash, going on around the Deku tree for all the kids?
Well, I want to ask her to that, but I told another girl if I really wanted to go, I'd ask her. and I told her I didn't want to go.
But I wanna go with the other chick. HELP ME.
Now,
OLD ME. - What's up dude. How's Life, I ment to tell you, that I just went to this big 'ol party the other night, before a concert. It was AWESOME. I played SSBM with some college kids. Kicked their asses.
ROY - WHATS UP. I haven't talked to you in a long ass time.How's life?
Marth - I was playing SSBM with my friend, and he was convinced you were a chick.
Ganon - you suck
Dark Link - Your Mildly cool, at least your not Shadow Link.
ZELDA AGAIN - COME BACK TO THE BOOAAAAAARRRRDDDDD.
Saria - Hey, wanna hang out tommorow?
Thanks dudes.
PEACCCEEE ~ Young LINK (Represent!)
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Dear Young Link,-
Hey you little shit! What's up?! Kicked their asses? Yeah! That's showing them what my young self is capable of! Gamer all the way, son! REPRESENT!
Do you mind?
...when did he become black?
Oh..right. Sorry.
Bitch got told by his sis-
SHUT UP, ROY.
DO YOU BOTH MIND.
Sorry...
Yeah uh...sorry.
*sips his tea*
Anyway, as for the problem with there being more than one girl involved. Clearly you need to get the both of them together, tell them that you obviously share some feelings for both, but clearly one of them can only be chosen for the actual gathering.
Or you can be the life of the party and take TWO women! Work it youngin' work it!
*chokes*
ROY! I know you're better than that, Young Link. So just use your best judgement. That's all I have to say on that. As for the board, I intend to go there as soon as humanly possible. Right now I've got a couple of things to deal with. But since the webmistress has a better internet connection than mine out in Hyrule, clearly I'm going to have to take advantage of hers.
[Webmistress Note: W00t w00t party at my place, son!]
Is Link influencing you?
[Webmistress Note: No..just always wanted to say it.]
I like how Marth isn't phased that someone called him a girl. Getting used to it are we? *nudges*
No, I'm just not encouraging it, peon.
PEON?!?! ZELDA! MARTH CALLED ME A DIRTY WORD!
I guess that means he gets a spanking.
*raises a brow*
...by Link.
*chokes on his tea*
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Idiots...
Morons...
Burn down their country?
Sounds good to me. I get to be President, though.
*raises a hand, then lowers it* Oh fine...
Zelda Link Roy Marth Ganondorf Dark Link
Dear Link,Zelda and co.,
Thank the godesses, I found you! Do you remember me? I hope so, 'cause i'm your big Bro Link. It's me Rohe! *notices Zelda and smiles in surprise* Hi Zelda, how are you? It's been a long time. Listen, thanks for letting me stay at Hyrule Castle when we were kids. I had no where else to go once mom died. Ya see Link, When the civil war broke out (LoZ Ocarina of time Master Quest), I was in Castle town, playing. Mom only left for a minute, but then the alarm sounded, the gate closed and I couldn't get out! Mom took you with her and I suspect she dropped you of with the Kokiris. I ran throught the streets until I bumped into Impa. She took me to the castle, and then I met Zelda. We became friends. Just friends mind! *winks to Link behind Zelda's back and whispers don't worry bro. you can still get your girl* Anyway, then I began to train in the way of the warrior. When I became proficient enough, I decided to leave on a quest to find you. My adventures lead me far outside of Hyrule, from the Great Sea to the Twilight Realm. But alas, I could not find you. When I returned, weary and battle worn, I found this website. And so I was able to find you, only to find my little bro is the biggest hero in all of Hyrule! *beams at Link* All those little stick sword fights we used to have must have paid off. But now I'm afraid I have to go.
Bye for now Bro! Rohe
P.S. Oh yeah, Marth, If you hit my little brother, I'm afraid I may have to do something umm.. * unsheathes bloodstained sword, mutters a spell in the Ancient Language and the sword aflame with blue fire* ..Unfortunate. Bye :)
----------
Dear Rohe,
Uh..Yeah! Man it's just been years hasn't it? I can remember the fights just like they were yesterday. I always stood victorious while you laid there in your fake "pool of blood". I'd stand on your chest and you'd cough and weez your last breaths. Saying something about cursing my father who killed your second cousin's sister. And then I would laugh like an insane person until it grew dark and then something would smack me on the back of the head. Probably Zelda, and tell me to go inside somewhere before I kill myself.
You..have no idea what he's talking about do you?
...No.
Zelda Link
To Zelda: Do you ever get tired of people finding you pretty? You ever get annoyed at people who use other characters besides you for Event Match 51? Do you prefer being complimented in front of others or alone? Would you want to try rescuing Link for a change? Have you happened to meet up with Stafy or Lip recently? How come your hair became brown in LoZ: TP? Have you ever considered getting Luigi to replace Link since he is so much more reliable when it comes to beating Ganondorf?
To Marth: Why don't Sheeda and Jaigan hang around with you? Between Sheeda and Zelda, which one would you marry? Do you plan on inviting Ike to join you guys next year? You think your Fire Emblem game will make it to the Virtual Console? Are you worried that you won't make it in SSBB? (I sure am since you're my best character besides the Ice Climbers and Mario)
To Ganondorf: How did it feel to be totally insulted by Luigi? In SSBM why do you always use the Dark Dive (Up B) all the time? Are you jealous that most people prefer Captain Falcon's Falcon Punch over your Warlock Punch? Have you ever considered hiring Marth to defeat Link? He does it a lot quicker than you do.
To all of you: How old are all of you now? What new characters do you want added to SSBB? What's all of your favourite 4th Generation Pokemon? Quiz Question: In SSBM which playable character besides Zelda, Peach, and Samus is female? (And the answer isn't Marth, so cram it Roy)
I hope you guys don't find my questions too annoying.
Tarboosnan
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Dear Tarboosnan,
I doubt I'd ever get sick of being told I'm pretty. In fact it's quite the ego boost! I rival Marth in that field.
I'd sadly say she's right. Though it's a pretty tight match. *hair flip*
I don't care where it is I get complimented..it happens around people and alone. It's flattering no matter where it is, and frankly I don't care. And as for saving Link for a change..I have in the past. Not only in a really cheesy knock-off game, but also if you remember Wind Waker..well it wasn't quite ME..but at least my decendent did a good job saving Kalim's butt.
KALIM IS ALL MAN.
Luigi simply cannot replace that man.
That's because I'm all man.
I guess it's my turn, eh? I'm not too worried about making the next game. I know for sure that Roy is getting replaced, but he's a punk.
Stiffs..they all shall pay.
Between Zelda and Sheeda? Neither. I'm taken by heart by something much different.
hahaha he says "someTHING". Clearly he's talking about another fag-
[Webmistress Note: Roy has been banned for bad behavior...again.]
hahahahaha
And I don't know about the whole situation with Ike either. I mean Fire Emblem is swamping the game enough as is. I mean having Roy around is like having a pack of retards. Clearly I should be the only one still around.
Ego much?
*sheepish grin*
Link is not my better. He's my equal. Haven't you played the games? We all possess a piece of the Triforce, which makes us equals. However, I've got a better sense of fashion, and humor.
?!
And who cares about Captain Faggot anyway? The man wears really tight tights. Only faggots wear those.
?!
?!
My point exactly.
PIKACHU IS FEMALE!!!!
Idiot..ice climber.
Zelda Link Marth Ganondorf
Everyone,
I can't believe you're actualy trying to get this thing back up. Or wrap it up, either way, good job. Maybe we'll acutaly get people coming on back (though I doubt it.) With that said on to the questioning:
How are you taking the rumours of a new Zelda game taking place in the future? Sounds pretty cool. Link gets guns, so that alone will be an adventure in itself o.O
So, are you guys trying to revive the Site, or not?
What's it like hanging out with Solid Snake in SSBB?
Why do I keep typing?
Am I annoying you?
Do you want me to stop?
What if I don't want to?
Okay, I do.
Hoping to be seeing more of these things, Huro
PS Seriously! Revive the site!
----------
Dear Huro,
Hi! Wow it's been ages since I've talked to you! And yes, we're currently trying to revive the site. We've all taken a vacation it seems. But it's mostly the webmistress' fault.
[Webmistress Note: suw ub DUEW]
...what?
[Webmistress Note: Sorry. Die in a fire. I can't type.]
Maybe that's another reason why we haven't been around lately.
HANGING WITH SNAKE? I DON'T THINK I KNOW, SINCE I'M NOT GOING TO BE AROUND.
[Webmistress Note: Hey! You were banned, peon!]
Ooooh snap!
I think Snake is shady. He's always got those shifty glances...
Zelda Link ROY TOO ROY TOO! [Webmistress Note: OFF THE CHANNEL, ROY.]
Dear Zelda,
I have a few questions to ask you. *Ahem* Here we go. 1.where is Hyrule? 2.Do you ever feel like you want to take a break from being a princess? 3.can I meet you one day?* I'm a VERY big fan.* 4.When will you ever come out with you own game? *Link, quit hogging the spotlight!* *Number 3 is also for Link, but I want to meet you first, your better than him.* That's all for now but I will be back.Oh! one more thing, 5.Where does Gannondorf go when Link kills him? * I know he goes to the relm of something in the Orcrina of Time.*
Bye!
Your Biggest Fan, Zelda Is The Best
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Dear biggest fan,
Much appreciative for your questions! It's always great to get in touch with not only a fan..but our BIGGEST fan!
Wait does she mean fattest?
ROY!
No..I don't think she means that. Anyway, if you wanna find Hyrule you-
Princess, I totally got this. You know...Hero of Time? Master of his domain? Knower of all travel in all of Hyrule?
Master of modesty, too...
Anyway, basically you go into any magical and mystical forest you can find. And really you just...get lost in it. Eventually you'll start finding fairies everywhere and BAM you know you're there.
... ... ...
...what?
Idiot.
This answers your next few questions. With all of this going on around me, do you BLAME me for wanting to take a vacation? And yes, we'll kill two birds with one stone. I'll totally come meet you if it means getting away from them. *gestures back*
BUT YOU NEED PROTECTION!
Back off, fairy boy.
Aren't you BANNED somewhere?!
I think it was also discussed a few pages back that I did once have a game. It was very crappy, and we'll never speak of it again.
hahahaha yeah where the animation was all bad and you looked like a dude!
...
Wanna know where Ganonndorf went? I'm about ready to send Link there next. *grins*
Oh shi- *runz*
Zelda Gannondorf Roy Marth and Link
Dear Link,
Why are u always put at the bottom when it says
"Zelda and Link"
Why u always last?
WHY???
bet you can't do this : żżżżż
seriously!
it's insulting
from ~person type thingy majig
P.S. Why doesn't Zelda give u an award when you save her
Like Peach does To Mario
Mario's a midget!
Don't tell him i said that!
O:-) :-$
----------
Dear person,
I'm just gonna go ahead and answer this. Zelda and the others are somewhat occupied. He's at the bottom because...
*looks to the left, then right*
He LIKES it on bottom. *snickers*
[Webmistress Note: YOU WERE BANNED, MISTER.]
Oh shi- *runz*
[Webmistress Note: Don't go dissing Mario, man. He's actually a pretty sweet dancer despite his height. Those Italians got moves. Where are the others? In a DDR competition with him right now, and he's totally smoking them.]
[Webmistress Note: Webmistress]
[Webmistress Note: P.S. żżżżż]
Dear Zelda and Link,
Z- Have you ever pulled a prank on Link? L- What's your worst fear? What was the scariest thing you had to go though in OoT?
~ Faria Moon
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Dear Faria Moon,
I've pulled dozens on him. *snickers* There was this one time that I pulled a Princess Peach on him.
"Blah blah your princess is in another castle. I was all DOUBLE-U TEE EFF, MATE. That was so not funny, Zelda.
Though the look on your face was.
You wanna know scary? Try those bloody Cuccos. Get one of them pissed and they send an army to rape you anally with your own sword...SIDEWAYS.
...Know from experience?
ewww...
Wouldn't YOU like to know!
Actually...
EWWWW!!! This interview is over!
Zelda Marth and Link
Dear,Zelda,Marth,Link,
im having issues with a new girl at school and she keeps trying to take my place stir up trouble when possible and acts all sweet and innocent when done and acts as if she did nothing, and got my best friend reaaally angry today.I need help what should i do!?
From, Dizzy
P.S i love the picture on the main page of the site!
----------
Dear Dizzy,
She sounds just like Peach. And that would mean that this girl is completely and totally evil. Do whatever measures you have to so that she never...ever...talks...again.
Zelda
P.S. Thanks for loving the picture!
(from green Link)
By my E-mail name I'm sure you can see that my friends and I are total Zelda Extremists (supporter just doesn't give the same effect) but anyway. This girl I know were talking couple nights ago, and somehow the subject drifted toward teachers, she was telling me about this science teacher she dearly hates, and was going to behave strangly in class to anger this teacher. Well, since she is in a lower grade than I (me being a highschooler and what not) I told her I had done the same things before, when I did it I told her I felt high and mighty, and like I was doing the work of Din. I told her, "I look back on it now with such shame, that my actions were very childish." This girl though, younger than me, is very intelligent. She scolded me " How dare you lecture me on my life, when you don't even know me!" and she stormed off. Even though I am a future phsycologist, I felt totaly stupid for acting out of line. If you have any suggestions for me to sort this out PLEASE IN THE NAME OF DIN, FARORE, NAYRU, AND YOURSELF, HELP ME!!! (btw, my friends have given eachother the nicknames of green Link->me, blue Link->my friend Thomas, red Link-> my friend micheal, and last but not least purple Link-> my friend Nick)
with total love, THE LINKS
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Dear Green Link,
Wow! You're so dashing! You remind me of...me! Anyway, girls are crazy. They're ALL crazy. Crazy enough to hit you over the head with frying pans and throw their high heels at you. I'd just stay clear of them if I were you.
...
Oh crap!
Zelda and Link
Whats the go with all your dif. personalities. Every princess in every other age, where there has been a link, has been named ' zelda '
I wanted to 'askzelda' what the go was with that? Is it tradition to name the princess 'zelda'?
Javier De-Dios (The stunner who makes love like none other)
----------
Dear Javier,
It's amazingly clear. I have a split personality disorder, clearly. At least this is what Marth tells me. Though it's kinda odd that an in-the-closet metrosexual has ANYTHING to teach me on how to be "normal".
I find that totally insulting!
Zelda and Marth
To my love Zelda,
I know we've both been quite busy as of late, but if at all possible, can we schedule some time to spend for just us...and our kids? I'm thinking we ALL could use a vacation.
MY TURN!!
Dear Zelda,
...What do you think...would be a...different, romantic gesture to offer in a relationship? I want to do something for my lover, but...as far as originality goes, I'm a 1 out of 1,000.
P.S. I came across an image of you and ShadowAxe...when was this?
WHERE?! D<
Nothing happened...-_-
*investigates*
Anyways...
Dear Zelda,
Yep, its been quite the while since I've said anything to you, especially concerning my actions. Consider this small note an amalgam of about...oh...1000 apologies... Right now, I'm making ammends with all those who've had problems with me from the past year and looking to start anew...and you're on that list. Fresh start? *offers handshake*
*cough*morelikeahug*cough*
SILENCE!
He won't be hugging Zelda...<<;; He wants Sarah... X3
SILENCE!! *blush*
ShadowAxe Alexander (RedAxe) and Alan "Vaati"
----------
Dear ShadowAxe, RedAxe, and Vaati,
So you guys are using the same methods we do to talk. Clever. haha A vacation sounds good. Maybe to go visit that biggest fan person!
YOU'RE NOT LEAVING ME ALONE WITH EVERYONE!!!
Oh you big baby...
RedAxe dude. You should just be yourself. Obviously she's your lover for a reason. If you were anyone but yourself, how can she accept you? There must be something about you that draws her to you. So don't change, you may end up regretting it.
How insightful, Link. I didn't know you had a romantic side.
I have my moments. *bats eyelashes at Zelda*
...
I heard you were having a lot of issues with stuff in the past. And from the looks of it, it looks like you're coming back and trying to make amends. That's always a good thing. So yeah. Uh...*handshake* We're cool. And RedAxe, leave the fanboy images out of the questioning. Some people just like to imagine different things that really don't exist.
Yeah, like Link being straight.
I'll freaking KILL YOU.
Zelda Roy Marth and Link
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